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what a pointless entry.

Posted on 2009.10.04 at 19:43
 So i feel like I have absolutely nothing to talk about xD
And... I don't really.
My life is boring xD
I've just been working and going to school and spending some time with friends... anticipating the end of the school year already, isn't that sad?

And... I'm very tired, so this is it for now.

 I don't really understand it. But I guess I'm not surprised. I don't understand why someone will say they're your friend and avoid you. idk. it's annoying. But whatever, I'm done being annoyed by it.

And so my hair is pink... but I'm way too tired to shower tonight. I'll just do it tomorrow. 

I have so little enthusiasm lmao... I'm actually in a pretty bad mood, but I just don't have the effort to show it.
I got to work for 8 hours today, take a 20 minute nap, get ready for the dance, go get food, go to the dance, and here I am. 
The dance was really one big annoyance. The girl hannah invited was annoying and attracted annoying people that nao kept dragging us away from, and he was angry all night... aaron showed up... and we talked, and we spent 15 minutes looking for hannah's skank sister and couldn't find her, so we left... and she decided that she just wanted to go home. 

Sooooooooooo. I dunno. I think this homecoming weekend in general has kind of sucked... I dunno. Maybe I'm just being a pessimist, but... it did. We lost our homecoming game btw. That kinda made it suck more.

And... i wish people wouldn't just stop texting in the middle of a conversation and never text back, or not text for 8 hours and only reply when i might text again. Thats... fun :/

Woo, I'm complaining a lot tonight. But, I'm very tired, so it is time to sleep... goodnight lj.


Posted on 2009.09.24 at 21:34
I took a cold shower tonight.
Not by choice.
Just... the hot water was gone.

I had to work tonight... and I couldn't get tomorrow off, which kind of sucks, but I guess I can just go after i get off work lmao...

So, I'm gonna try to not get arrested tonight, good goal, right? Just fulfilling the senior tradition of tping the school the day before homecoming... fun (:

and... I'm tired, but I need to stay up... but whatever. it'll be fun. and tomorrow I have a GSA field trip sort of thing to the iowa pride network for a meeting... so i get to skip out on classes for most of the day (:

And, just getting this out of the way, if you really cared, you wouldn't say goodbye and think that being nothing is better than having  friendship, and that's all i have to say about that.

and... my psych teacher made many sexual references today about 'big racks' and the porn industry... and it was fun. I like that class. Totally owned the test. yeeeeeeeeeeah. 

This is a very scattered journal... but I can't form cohesive thoughts lmfao. But... my hair is being sprayed pink for the night on saturday. shit. i hate you hannah xD But... it'll be fun, I guess. It's wash out. Blonde and pink mix well, right? Even if the dance is going to suck. But hey, at least i'm an optimist.

Also, my dad was exposed to h1n1... shit. I'm scared now lmfao. I'll try not to die, don't worry.

but that is all for today, i think.
Goodnight everyone (:

psh, no food coloring? white only?! cupcake segregation!!!

Posted on 2009.09.17 at 21:56
Current Music: Fran Drescher
Tags: ,
 ok, real entry now, but those meme things are really fun. 
I'm tired. Just gonna tell you now. So this entry will be scattered and... basically stupid.

And... I haven't updated for a few days but I have no idea what to talk about, honestly. I'm finally online... which I'm excited about... no work tonight, that was so strange. I came home and just... slept. With no obligations or anything. So... I slept, and it was really, really great. And I got up at 6 and made pizza and talked to spanish people about the french/spanish war... fun, right? oh well... being involved is... fun.

Hm, i signed up for a GSA field trip thingy today. To the iowa pride network for a meeting. kinda cool? 

Uhm. And... I got to hold a human brain today!! It was... gross. And brain-like. But hey, now I can say I held a human brain. I'm sure the occasion will come up some day where I can brag about that.

Oh, I didn't get in the play, old news, but I haven't updated for a while.. xD 

And... I work on both the homecoming game and the dance... fun :/ and saturday is a 8-4 (8 hour) shift... and Hannah still wants me to go to the dance at like... 7 after that. I dunno. Maybe. Probably not. The theme is stupid :/ it's 'an electric evening'. So... there are going to be skanks, kids in bright clothes, and people carrying around glowsticks. Not that i'm like... an emo kid or something that wants to avoid the dance and conforming...?  but, every other year i've gone and it's been, hey, i'm going to stand around and think about how i wasted $10 on this ticket. Which... really sucks. 

lmao... maybe i'll just come home and talk to Ronan and be happy and forget about the stupid dance. 'But it's your senior year!' yeah... and I can spend money on much better things, like prom and plane tickets (:

So... this is about it, i guess xD I've been doing well so far in classes, lowest grade is an A- as far as i can tell, which makes me happy on the inside based on how almost all of my classes are on a weighted grading system.

And... I'm done boring you!!

my school is cupcake intolerant.

Posted on 2009.09.17 at 21:48

[] you have dry skin.
[] you eat 1 meal.
[x] you're very weak.
[x] you hate your body.
[x] you starve yourself. (can i have half an x for that? My will doesn't agree with my stomach)
[x] you have low self esteem.
[] you use laxatives.
[x] you need to be more skinny.
[] people always say you're skinny, but you think fat.
[x] people think you are too skinny.
Total: 6


[x] your mind is all over the place.
[] you are hyper most of the time.
[x] you barely pay attention to anything.
[] you cannot cooperate with people well.
[x] you seem to never sit still.
[] you talk all the time.
[] you need attention 24/7.
Total: 3


[x] you can act wild at times then the next day you are depressed.
[x] you are very irritable. (...lately xD but everyone knows that!!)
[x] you barely get any or no sleep.
[x] you are anti-social. 
[] you have very high self esteem at times.
[] you are abusing alcohol, drugs, or sex.
[] you have thought of/attempted suicide 
Total: 4


[] you throw up all of your food. 
[] you throw it up even when you don't feel sick.
[] you have no control over how you eat.
[] you use laxatives.
[] you have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[x] you always say you are fat, when you aren't.
[x] people think you are way too skinny.
Total: 2


[] you are a bully.
[] you threaten other people.
[] you often find yourself in fights.
[] you have used a weapon that could cause injury to others. (ex: knife, bat, etc.)
[] you are cruel to humans and/or animals.
[] you have raped/molested someone.
[] you destroy property on purpose.
[] you always lie.
[] you stay out all night.
[] you have ran away from home.
Total: 0


[x] you are often sad. (sad/angry at people, life... usually at school)
[] you find no hope in your future. 
[] you find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[x] you always find yourself around the house or in bed all day.
[x] you can be/are anti-social.
[x] you have low self esteem.
[] everything bad that happens is always your fault.
[x] you always seem to be weak or have physical features hurt
[] you are failing school.
[] you have thought of/attempted suicide.
[] you have ran away from home.
[] hope is no longer there for you.
Total: 5


[x] you have daily rituals.
[x] you have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[] you have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[x] you have to keep things in a certain order.
[] you have harmed yourself.
[x] you are afraid you will get an STD, AIDS, or any kind of germs.
[] you have to check some stuff over again.
Total: 4 


[x] you repeatedly have flashbacks of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[] you repeatedly have dreams of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[x] you sometimes think the event will happen again.
[x] you feel highly uncomfortable when remembered/remembering the event.
[x] you can be/are anti-social.
[] you have lost interest in the things you used to love.
[] you have not had a lot of sleep lately. (well... lately. I've been sleeping constantly because I've been sick)
[x] you worry about dying at an early age or dying at all.
[x] you can have angry outbursts.
[x] you act younger than your age.
Total: 7


[] you often have hallucinations
[x] you have strange, unusual dreams or thoughts.
[x] you can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[x] you think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] you have extreme anxiety or fearfulness.
[] you have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite sex.
[] you do not take care of your hygiene like you should.
[x] you are very shy.
[x] you often talk to yourself.
Total: 6


[x] You think that certain news paper articles or television ads are directed toward you. (Ideas of reference, excluding delusions of reference.)
[x]You have odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences your behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms. (e.g., superstitiousness, bizarre fantasies or preoccupations)
[]You have unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions.
[x]You have an odd thinking and speaking style. (e.g., vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped)
[x]You are suspicious or paranoid about other people.
[]You often act inappropriate for the situation at hand.
[]You have a behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar to the norm.
[x]You lack close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives.
[]You have a social anxiety that tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about ones self.
Total: 5

Yay, next! A real update.

i'm sick of the old oldies. i want new ones.

Posted on 2009.09.13 at 13:54
Current Music: On All Fours - Jay Brannan
Tags: , ,
 i love how my one good mood of the week is ripped away. awesomeeeeeeeeee
and here i was just yesterday blaming every problem in the world on 14 year olds.

but i guess that's not fair. I split a cookie with nao last night... that made me happy. And so did talking to Ronan because I've missed him even if I've been a dick to.. well, everyone lately.
So.. I'm leaving the internet once again because people can't put up with me, and I don't feel up to putting up with them. I have to work tonight. That'll get my mind off everything. 
So, for now, I'll try to do homework, fail, get frustrated, play okami for a while, then try to go back to reading some book i just... don't understand. Or I'll do my super fun anatomy homework over tissues... or maybe I'll just nap. 

so... I don't know. I miss everyone... a lot. And on top of homework and work, I"ve added the school play. Which, will be fun, but will take up a lot of time, but will also give me extra credit for my theater class.
Whatever. It's a month or so of dedication and hanging out with friends after school. Can't be all bad, I guess.

I keep getting yelled at for being grouchy all the time. meh. maybe my parents should shut the fuck up and not yell at me every 10 minutes to ask if a shirt is mine or if i want to get something to eat. 

So. I'm going to go back to trying to doing homework.
byebye now.


Posted on 2009.09.10 at 21:34
 so... i haven't had the chance to update in a long time, but i'm exhausted and sore so I don't really feel up to making a long update... but here's the basics, I wasted my labor day weekend, am swamped by my homework and work, tried out for a play, asked strangers for some cold pizza, and found out that glass isn't the secret ingredient in cheesecake.
I guess i could explain those. well, the labor day weekend one is self-explanatory, nao stayed over, i went to the mall, bled, and slept, and worked.
Homework... again. self explanatory, but I dominated the major tests for right now, so i'm good for a little bit.
Tried out for the play... extra credit in theater class, heck yesssssss
Got to ask some strangers for cold pizza for a french club event tonight, I know what you're thinking, what does pizza have to do with french? Well, it doesn't have anything to do with it. So we also got a bag of sand.
And, no, glass isn't a good ingredient for cheesecake. 

So... this is all I feel like writing right now. 

Oh. so I possible have mono. shit.

psychoceramics (the study of crackpots)

Posted on 2009.09.01 at 20:52
 Watch out guys, I"m going all emo-kade right now.
Maybe I'm just tired.
Or stressed.
I had 4 major assignments that are due tomorrow and most of which are... maybe half done... and it's nearly 9 already... this isn't good. 
But... 3 of them I can get away with not doing... but my Anatomy review guide is about 1/4 of the way done... but I miss everyone so I really want to get online to talk to them... but I don't know if I should do that.
I'm not in a very good mood right now anyway so I don't know if that would be a good idea..
I shouldn't be allowed to sit along in my car with no sound. It makes me think.. and thinking is bad. Well... I guess it's not all bad... but you know what i mean.
But while I'm driving I get this defiant feeling like I'm going to stop making excuses for people when I don't like whatever they're doing or saying to me, but then I get home and all of my resolve crumbles... this sucks. Well... I don't know. Maybe making excuses for people will keep me happier until things change. Or I hope it will. It kinda sorta works...

So, I have to write a paper about Oedipus Rex and Hannah and I realized that we can trace everything back to Merope and her stupid husband. If they'd just been straight up with Oedipus, he wouldn't have killed his dad or done his mom. It's pretty simple. I don't blame him, I blame the parents. Stupid Greek tragedies.
Also... something odd, in two classes today, someone talked about eating children... that's not normal is it?
But, today we had our presentations in theater, and I was the only one that did something that didn't rhyme... and I think I had the longest one too... and I was kinda one of the only ones that didn't stand up in a monotone and recite it... but the girl that did her bit about eating babies put some action into it, and she put a burp with it. It was pretty clever. 

So.. I don't know. My kind of rant... but my rant got off topic... but I'm not tired yet, which is good and bad... becasuee I need to do homework, but I need to sleep too.. and not waking up at 3:30 would be very nice. No more headaches in the middle of the night would be even better...
Well, I'm done for now..


Posted on 2009.08.30 at 22:41
 So.. I begin my second week of school tomorrow. And I work tomorrow night.. but not again until Thursday. I honestly don't know how I'm going to feel in the morning though... Hopefully it's well enough for school. I can't already use up one of my 2 sick days for school :/ I don't want to do finals this year... I can still get out of one... but still. 
And work tomorrow.. eck. That means if I don't feel good tomorrow, I'll still have to work. Unless I be a baby and call in... but I guess I shouldn't go and work in a kitchen if i'm sick lmfao..

I can't ell hi'm getting tired. Even if I don't feel it. Tiredness makes me irrational. And that's just bad... But oh well. I guess I'll sleep soon anyway.
But... I don't want to deal with this one girl tomorrow... she's obnoxious and in my two last classes of the day.. the only ones I really enjoy. Grr. 

Uh. I really don't have much more to say, but I'm really glad that my social life is kind of... living again haha. I hate feeling all anti-social by going straight to bed at night... but I should be a lot better this week (: So.. whether you're looking forward to it or not, I'll be back!!

got the swine flu.

Posted on 2009.08.30 at 15:10
 omg. so. hopefully my social life will return to me now... 
this first week was total hell, the only day of school having off work afterwards was tuesday, where i was still a pussy and crashed by 11pm. Well... this will hopefully change. I work Monday, Thursday, and Sunday for a total of 14 hours as long as i don't get scheduled more. yay!
I have homework just about every day... but it hasn't been a severe workload yet. 15 problems of finite.. a little labeling in anatomy... not bad. I have to do an oral presentation in theater (shut up, i need a communications class) on tuesday and i'm doing a bit from fight club. I just kinda made it awesome, right?!

And... I don't feel very good. Maybe I'm just tired. Meh. I shall rest a while then...
And Ronan, I'm going to be not dead for you soon! 
Also... others who read my journal. Ronan just likes to talk about me in his (:

But... my head hurts... so I'm going to rest. Byebye for now.

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